Ahve taken one step closer to tha corporate restaurant world today….made me a lil weak in tha knees ta tell ya tha truth. Yesterday ah attended an “Open Call” fer a very large corporation that does event staffing, etc. It took me ovah an hour ta git to, and involved a couple miles of biking (in tha rain, only second time its rained since ah gawt here). Ah filled out an application (noticing that in my recent employment history, only one of those positions was in hospitality, and that was from Australia), n took a written test asking all sorts of important questions like “What side of the plate does the fork go on” (the left) and true/false “The knife should face the plate?” (true). Instead of lookin at my application, ah was asked to summarize my experience, which ah did. (ahve been in interview mode these last few weeks so this part was easy), n was told to come back tomorrow for a final interview. 20 minutes aftah ah arrived, back intae tha rain, on my trusty steed (bike). Aftah ah went shoppin, etc., ahd been out in tha rain fer ovah 3 hours, was way gross, n had spent 7 bux on transportation.
Today ah woke up to tha sound of meowing cat (spoonfull is its name, n thar will be at least one blog post focused on his annoying characteristics), n shovelled off to Pleasant Hill again. Pleasant Hill, as they mite say here, is hella far away from me. My second interview we went over all tha clusterfucks that come w. workin w. a corporation, tha expectations of all their servers, how we were pretty much out on our own ta figure out how we were gittin to n from events w.o travel compensation, n tha incredibly impersonal manner in which we would get assignments (signing ontae a slow website, listin our availability, n then waitin fer one of tha calendar days to turn red, so that we could investigate tha situation and confirm our availability). It’s a far cry from tha work ah dae fer Hands On! Gourmet, who organize carpools and compensate you for travel. Then ah found out that my high level of skills, which had guaranteed my “final interview” (quotes used b/c this was nae interview, this was me fillin out w-9s n signin papers sayin that ah wouldnt commit workers comp fraud) would give me tha much-sought aftah compensation of $11.50 per hour. I won’t even accept temping assignments fer this little, n those are usually at least full-days werk.
So ontae tha title of todays post, ahve done tha math n factoring in two days of travel to obtain this stupid job (close to 15 bux total), buying an all-black tie which is necessary fer tha event ahm werkin tomorrow ($20 bux at Target, if anyone has evah set out to find a single-color tie in discount clothing stores, they know how frustrating an excursion this is), n transportation from tha event (which is being held at tha fricken AT&T Ball-Park, tha same that some sports team plays at), 6-7 hours of work at my meager (fawkin MEAGER) hourly rate, minus taxes, will maybe put 10 bux in my pocket aftah accountin fer all tha cash spent in tha last 48 hours.
This will howevah, be tha biggest event ahve evah worked (75 servers will be on-call), so ah can’t imagine it bein very difficult. Ahll consider it a good day if ahm able ta git back to tha BART (Bay Area Rapid Transport) before tha last train leaves fer tha East Bay. Far from tha idealistic sprout who arrived in CA 6 weeks ago w. a gleam of hope in his eyes fer tha ultimate job, now ah will be happy if ah don’t git stuck in downtown SF overnite in dress clothes.
In job-hunt news, tha place that turned me down fer someone who either 1)really is intae a career in development or 2)is a bettah liar then me, passed on my resume to tha place they share thar workspace with. While thats very nice of them, ah dont know how well ahd actually handle working in tha same office as a place whose rejection ah couldnt help but take a litle bit personally. Not to mention tha office bein pretty unaccessible unless you are LOADED, n ah doubt tha otha organization has tha same kind of budget as tha one ahd initially interviewed w.
Anyway, tomorrow is band practice with Warren Teagarden and his drummer, Anthony, n then ah turn intae a faceless drone at some uber-corps holiday party. Let’s hope somethin interestin happens so ah ken blog about it, shall we?
