Tha girls of tha internet…

So as you’ve prolly picked up if you read this from time to time, ahve been usin tha internet ta date since gittin out here. It hasn’t been tha only way ahve met people, but it has been tha easiest – in it’s own way at least. At first it was just some Crazy Blind Dating, but about a year ago ah turned ta both Craigslist as well as popular online datin site that prolly daesn’t need ta be named.

Anyway, some of it went fine, some of it was lame, a bit of it was REALLY lame, ah met some cool girls, ah met some crazy girls, n ah gawt some stories. Howevah, ahm takin a break from it cuz ahm lookin back on my experiences n realizin that thar is really very little return from my investment. First off, online datin is extremely frustratin, especially if you are a male, n possibly more if you are, like me, only lookin to date, perhaps more. Tha amount of unanswered messages sent is mind-boggoling. Ahm very glad ah created a separate semi-anonymous email address for it (yes, ahm creepy like that, but really, ah dont want these fools ta know my last name!)

Anyway, even if thar was a response, n some back n forth, ahd guess it ended up in meetin that person about 30 percent of tha time? Maybe more like 40, ahm obviously guessing here, but suffice to say that those ah met n went on a date with were a small select few out of those I’d messaged or responded to.

But if you know me, ah always dae everythang full-force. So despite this annoyance and frustratin, ah believe ah have met at least 20 women from tha internet in tha Bay Area since last October. Thassa lawt. How dae ah know all this?

Simple. Everyone gawt a nickname, ie, _______-girl. N eventually ah started keepin a list of all tha _____-girls ahd actually met. N of kerse ahve separated them intae 3 categories: Fine (as in, these were good people but we didn’t have much in common/chemsitry/etc), Meh (one way or another, I was left feeling kind of meh on the whole thing, whether it was a date or a month, this relationship lacked something and I probably could have done without the interaction), and WTF (who is this creep-show and what are they doing on the market!).

For your added convenience, I’ve ordered them in descending order of WTF. So now, ah present, Tha Girls of tha Internet:

WTF:
eyebrow-girl
writer-girl
pirate-girl
cycle-girl
oakland-girl
giant-girl
psych-girl
late-girl
boring-girl

Fine
book-girl
midget-girl
phd-girl (Despite us not being a very good match, we dated for a few months, eventually breaking up because we know it wasn’t going anywhere)

Maybe if ahm feelin gossipy you ken ask me about one of them n ahll give you tha scoop! (Maybe nawt tho).