Does this sound 1984-ish to you? Er at tha very least, like a made-up oxymoron?
So ah werk in a posh office at tha moment, fer a well-known institution, in thar West Coast Development office (any more info then that could git me in trouble). My current employer is a leasee on a few offices and cube spaces in a two-story bay on a pier in SF’s Embarcadero. This office is SUPAH posh, on Monday’s we git free leftovah lunch, thars fully stocked sodas, coffee, tea, snacks (including Nature Valley Bars, chips, fruit, and yogurt), n apparently our kitchen is modeled aftah tha ownahs PERSONAL kitchen. Fer reasons ah don’t remembah, thars even a piano, drum set, bass guitar + amp and electric guitar + amp IN my office (which are, obviously off-limits. N horribly, HORRIBLY temptin, but ahm nawt stupid.)
Howevah, this poshness comes w. a price. Some time durin my first week, ah wore a pretty conservative sweater to work, n my boss told me he was pretty sure thar was a collared shirt requirement at tha office. So ah now always wear a collared shirt….its nawt that my boss cares, but tha office does.
Although ah don’t think any of us knew how much they cared. Apprently tha office manger talked to one of our guys yestahday, which resulted in this email:
“Just a friendly reminder to us all that we are in subleased space. As
you may have noticed, there has been an increase in visitors to _name witheld_.
In any event, we need to keep in mind that we are in a professional
environment and our attire and appearance should reflect that. The
guests of _name withheld_ do not necessarily know the distinction
between the _my employers_ space/staff downstairs and the rest of the office
here at Bay X. Though we may not be having _my employer_ visitors daily, we
should dress appropriately since _name withheld_ often has business
clients coming through the space. We also want to be respectful of our
hospitable hosts. FYI, they do notice what we wear! (For guidance, below
is a memo from _a place_ regarding attire.)
Another reminder that under no circumstances should we be using the
musical instruments that are in the building. It has come to the
attention of _name withheld_ that musical instruments were used last
night without permission(This totally WASNT ME). The instruments are valuable and private property. Our arrangement is primarily for the offices and cubes.
Lastly, a reminder that we should only be going upstairs for access to
the restrooms.
As you’ll note below, _my boss_ has a “Business Casual” dress environment
throughout the entire year with the exception of a
donor/volunteer/faculty meeting or event where more formal business
attire is appropriate.
What’s not appropriate for the office?
* jeans (any color)
* shorts (please note that “culottes” are ok only so long as they
are specifically designed as work attire and are knee length or longer
and are conservative in color – khaki, black, navy)
* midriff or cut-off t-shirts, descriptive t-shirts (t-shirts with
pictures, words, slogans or statements), tank or halter tops (please
note that women may wear tasteful, professional sleeveless shirts or
dresses)
* mini skirts
* ragged clothing or footwear
* pool style or athletic style sandals or flip-flops
* athletic / sports wear (sweats, football jerseys, etc.)
_boss-man_ has adopted a business casual dress
environment with the exception of a client meeting/event where business
attire is appropriate. ***Examples of business casual attire are
collared shirt and dress slacks (or khakis) for men and dress slacks,
skirts, or dresses for women, and appropriate footwear.*** Examples of
business attire are collared shirt, tie, suit, jacket or blazer and
dress slacks for men and suit, dress slacks and jacket, skirts, or
dresses for women.”
Ah thought this was prety straight forward, n a bit obnoxious of a reminder (n ah have been known ta wear a hoodie ovah my collared shirt cuz its damn cold sometimes), howevah, it apparently wasn’t enuff, b/c this email, almost immediately, was responded to by tha office manager:
Thanks _someone more important then me_–
To elaborate on the dress, _name witheld_ has a conservative corporate
casual dress code. It generally follows the guidelines mentioned below
with the addition of clean shaven faces, clean and pressed clothes,
shirts tucked in, and no tennis shoes.
As for the instruments, they are off-limits for
personnel as well — we’ve been told that it is grounds for termination
if they are used without permission.
So ah can’t help but wondah if tha fact that sometimes ahve fergawten ta shave before werk, n that ah usually DONT tuck my shirt in at werk, has gawten me on someones shit list. But what really gits me is tha term “conservative corporate casual.” Thar’s pretty much NUTHANG casual about that….except that they aren’t requirein a suit jacket n a tie.
Luckily, if ah dae end up werkin w. these folks once they move offices, ah can’t imagine this shite bein a problem. Altho ah was a bit annoyed cuz today in tha restroom ah was washin hand next to someone in jeans who did NAWT have a collared shirt.
Anyway, its fawkin friday, tomorrow is band practice mania (back to back WT + think13), n thars a new George Romero Zombie Movie ah can’t wait ta see! Happy Friday!